Thursday, October 14, 2010

Ghosts

I believe in ghosts. Not the spooky, scary kind of ghosts, but rather spirits. The souls of those that have passed on.

I don't believe in God and I don't think there is a heaven, Garden of Eden, or someplace where 10,000 virgins are waiting for me. I don't necessarily know where our souls go when we die, but I do believe they are out there somewhere. I believe we can communicate with them if we want to. We can call on them for help and advice.

I've had quite a few experiences with spirits in my lifetime. Last night was no different. I had a dream about my dad.

I was in a car with my father (who passed away in 2007). He was driving and I was sitting behind him. He was trying to show me the cottage he has been living in since he left my mother (his words). He was pointing to the cottage but I couldn't see it. I reached my hand out and he held it for awhile.

Then I woke up.

It was such a peaceful, calm and comforting dream. I really do believe my father came to me to let me know he's ok. I believe he tried to show me how lovely his world is even though I couldn't see it with my own eyes. I don't think it was a message of "This is heaven. Be good and you can come here too!" I think it was just my dad popping in to say hello and tell me he's ok.

Now maybe I'm just as crazy as the Mormons who believe that God speaks to them personally. But having these dreams/experiences gives me peace and can restore hope when I need it the most. It's like my own personal magic 8 ball. Maybe it's just my brain trying to keep me sane in an otherwise insane world. Maybe it IS all just a dream. Who knows? All I know is that being able to see my dad again and hold his hand is one of the greatest feelings in the world.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

This pisses me off

So there is this whole Pepsi Refresh Project going on right now. People can nominate projects to receive up to $250K in funding. Every day you vote and on November 1st the winners are announced. Overall, a pretty cool idea. And most of the suggestions are excellent. Like providing assistance to the disabled (rides to medical appointments, fan or air conditioners for their homes), or purchasing clothing and blankets for the homeless. Creating braille books for blind children. Helping people and communities that REALLY need help.

And then there is the ever present Crazy Facebook Lady. The same woman who is paying thousands in tuition to send her child to the "good" school in town. The "good" school where median household income is much higher than the household incomes of the school my kid attends. [side note: I do believe that a child will do well in school if they WANT to do well, and if the teachers are good. You don't need to pay $5,000 every year to learn alphabet at a fancy school when you can learn the same alphabet at any other school.] So what's my beef? The fact that I have gotten no less than 3 email pleas and at least 10 Facebook pleas to vote for a new library for the school her kid goes to. Wait, let me repeat that. She wants everyone she knows to vote for a $250,000 grant to build her child's school a new library. Not to buy braille books for blind children or provide school supplies to needy children, or support kids with disabilities. But to provide a new library to a school that doesn't need a new library.

Say it with me folks. What. The. Fuck?

And really, if I don't attend your school, why on earth would I vote for your school to receive money? If any school should get money wouldn't I want it to be the one that I send my child to? Stop trying to take money away from other people that REALLY need it. You go around boasting how you spend $500 on new school clothes for your 6 year old. How you spend $200 to take her to a special birthday dinner. Why don't you take some of that money and give it to the school for a new library? Why don't you ask all of your fellow school parents to do the same? Oh wait, that's right, because that school is entitled and feels like they should be given everything on a silver fucking platter because of where they live. Well whoop-de-fucking do.

These people disgust me. With all the things going on in this country right now and all the people that really need help and you're begging for a new and improved library. Unbelievable.

Friday, October 1, 2010

It's up to you

New York, Neeeeeeew Yooooooooork.......

New York has been on my mind.  I grew up in the Empire State and will always consider it home.  There is just something badass about being a NY native.  Something you can't describe, and that no one else can understand.  I get an overwhelming feeling of peace as the plane starts to circle the city for landing.

The Top Gay and I try to visit once a year but it never seems like quite enough.  The last time we went we stayed an extra day and crammed in 4 Broadway shows, dinner, museums and general soaking up of the city activities.  I just feel like I need to be there again.  Now.

I've been dying to take the kid along too.  I can't wait to show her around and see the awe in her eyes.  It was such a great experience roaming around the city as a kid.  My parents took us often and I'm so grateful for that.  Even if my mother always screeched "Take off your jewelry and lock your doors!"  As if some mad man was just waiting on us to exit the Midtown Tunnel.  For a woman that grew just outside the city and went to college IN the city, you'd think she'd be more relaxed.  But I guess when you're born high strung you don't ever lose that sense about you.

Anyway, I must find a date to go.  There are endless new restaurants waiting for us to dine.  Countless shows waiting for us to drop our jaws in overwhelmed delight.  I need to get nauseous in a taxi as the driver slams on the gas and brake with equal abandon.  I want to be jostled on the street and have a "Fuck you!" yelled at me for no reason.  I want to go home.