The Dog Days Are Over

The dog days are done!

The holidays are over and I survived. I SURVIVED!!! I wasn't sure I was going to, but I did.

The whole month of December went by in a blur. We were constantly on the go with parties, activities, birthdays and then the house guests. Good lord the house guests. We only had 2 sets of guests but it felt like an army.

The parents of the husband were the first to arrive. They showed up on Thursday. On Friday, Grandma wanted to go to Wal Mart. Wal Mart on Christmas Eve. Now if that doesn't scream crazy lady then I don't know what does. Anyway, we had a ridiculous 45 minutes of traveling back and forth across the entire fucking store trying to decide on curtains for my daughter's room. 45 minutes. I was ready to beat someone with a plastic Santa by the time we were done. Then we had to look at light bulbs. Apparently my husband gave his mother a list of items he needed. A list that included light bulbs, baked beans, gouda cheese and motor oil. Of course he gives HER the list and says nothing to me so Grandma wants to meander around the store and try to figure out exactly what the husband meant by "motor oil".

We finally get home and I start baking. Grandma soon follows and trashes my kitchen. "Don't worry! I'll clean it up!" she declares. And then uses her forearm to sweep everything into the sink and walk away. Crumbs, drips, and trash were still laying around.

The rest of the weekend was much more of the same. Me cooking and cleaning up (so we would have clean dishes and silverware for the next meal) and the grandparents just lounging on the couch commenting on how Hannah Montana is a bad role model for my kid and silently praying to Jesus to save us. Oh and commenting on the "excessive" amounts of dog hair in the house and how she was offended by it. So offended that she took out my vacuum and started cleaning my house.

On Sunday they finally left. Only after pestering my puking child with baby talk on why she wasn't feeling good and didn't she want a toy? This as she is holding a plastic bucket up to her a face and I'm holding her hair back. I should have just told her to puke on their shoes.

On Wednesday my mother arrived. Knowing how pissed off and upset I was about my in-laws, mom went out of her way to help me around the house. She took us out to eat most of the time so no one had to cook or clean. She spoiled us rotten. Overall it was great. Except for when she tried to tell my kid that she wasn't allowed to wrap up the Christmas ornaments because she might break them.

In between all of this was the husband's birthday. He turned 40 and bitched up a storm about it. I guess he expected a parade but all he got was an iPad. You'd think that was enough but then he bitched that i didn't get the 3G version.

So people wonder why I despise Christmas. I hate the that holiday with a passion. It brings me no joy. In fact, I sink into a depression during December and have to fight my way out in January. I can't wait for the kid to be old enough NOT to believe in Santa so we can just skip town for the holiday and avoid all the bullshit. I guess that makes me the Grinch but I have always had a love of the color green. It goes well with my hair.