Friday, January 7, 2011


How is it that nurses seem to be the worst caregivers when they are dealing with their families?  I can see how it would be hard to be objective when someone you love is feeling less than stellar, but all out hysteria?  I just don't get it.

Nurse A has a small child at home.  I think the child is around 2 or 3 years old.  The child has been to the ER no less than 4 times in the last 4 months.  And none of those visits were for life threatening illness.  I do understand that a young child that is very sick can be terrifying.  I've been there myself.  As a mother, you worry.  You think the absolute worst is going to happen.  But you would think with a nursing background you could see the signs.  Look at the symptoms and know it's just a bad cold or possibly even a bacterial infection.  Both of which could be cared for in a sick appointment at the pediatrician.  Or worse case, the urgent care clinic.  But no, she ran the kid to the ER each time.

Nurse B also has a small child but this one is 5 years old.  A few weeks ago she called in to work because her kid was sick.  That's fine.  I get that.  You need to take care of your family.  Come to find out, the kid puked ONCE the night before and had NO OTHER SYMPTOMS.  None.  But she kept her home from school and called off of work because she deemed that her child had the flu.

Nurse C has two grown adult children who both still live at home.  The older of the two had her wisdom teeth pulled about 2 months ago.  Nurse B had to run home during her lunch to care for the adult child because she was in so much pain and the child's father (who was with her) just couldn't handle it.  Yesterday, Nurse B had to race home because her other child had thrown up 3 times in a row.  She determined that the adult child needed to go to the emergency room for this.  He was released with the diagnosis of the flu and sent home.  Nurse B set her alarm and got up through the night to give her adult child his medicine.  He was fine this morning.  Then a short while later, she bolted out of work because her older adult child called and said she called 911 because the son was not feeling well.  They are back at the ER.

As people that work in healthcare, you would think they would consider their actions.  Of course if you feel your family member is seriously ill you should go to the ER.  No question.  But as a healthcare provider, to flood the ER with cases of the flu?  And then complain about how insurance won't cover things for the regular patients you see?  Don't you realize that YOU are the ones that are contributing to this problem?  What's the point of going to nursing school if you can't even use that knowledge on your own family?

Monday, January 3, 2011

The Dog Days Are Over

The dog days are done!

The holidays are over and I survived. I SURVIVED!!! I wasn't sure I was going to, but I did.

The whole month of December went by in a blur. We were constantly on the go with parties, activities, birthdays and then the house guests. Good lord the house guests. We only had 2 sets of guests but it felt like an army.

The parents of the husband were the first to arrive. They showed up on Thursday. On Friday, Grandma wanted to go to Wal Mart. Wal Mart on Christmas Eve. Now if that doesn't scream crazy lady then I don't know what does. Anyway, we had a ridiculous 45 minutes of traveling back and forth across the entire fucking store trying to decide on curtains for my daughter's room. 45 minutes. I was ready to beat someone with a plastic Santa by the time we were done. Then we had to look at light bulbs. Apparently my husband gave his mother a list of items he needed. A list that included light bulbs, baked beans, gouda cheese and motor oil. Of course he gives HER the list and says nothing to me so Grandma wants to meander around the store and try to figure out exactly what the husband meant by "motor oil".

We finally get home and I start baking. Grandma soon follows and trashes my kitchen. "Don't worry! I'll clean it up!" she declares. And then uses her forearm to sweep everything into the sink and walk away. Crumbs, drips, and trash were still laying around.

The rest of the weekend was much more of the same. Me cooking and cleaning up (so we would have clean dishes and silverware for the next meal) and the grandparents just lounging on the couch commenting on how Hannah Montana is a bad role model for my kid and silently praying to Jesus to save us. Oh and commenting on the "excessive" amounts of dog hair in the house and how she was offended by it. So offended that she took out my vacuum and started cleaning my house.

On Sunday they finally left. Only after pestering my puking child with baby talk on why she wasn't feeling good and didn't she want a toy? This as she is holding a plastic bucket up to her a face and I'm holding her hair back. I should have just told her to puke on their shoes.

On Wednesday my mother arrived. Knowing how pissed off and upset I was about my in-laws, mom went out of her way to help me around the house. She took us out to eat most of the time so no one had to cook or clean. She spoiled us rotten. Overall it was great. Except for when she tried to tell my kid that she wasn't allowed to wrap up the Christmas ornaments because she might break them.

In between all of this was the husband's birthday. He turned 40 and bitched up a storm about it. I guess he expected a parade but all he got was an iPad. You'd think that was enough but then he bitched that i didn't get the 3G version.

So people wonder why I despise Christmas. I hate the that holiday with a passion. It brings me no joy. In fact, I sink into a depression during December and have to fight my way out in January. I can't wait for the kid to be old enough NOT to believe in Santa so we can just skip town for the holiday and avoid all the bullshit. I guess that makes me the Grinch but I have always had a love of the color green. It goes well with my hair.

Thursday, October 14, 2010


I believe in ghosts. Not the spooky, scary kind of ghosts, but rather spirits. The souls of those that have passed on.

I don't believe in God and I don't think there is a heaven, Garden of Eden, or someplace where 10,000 virgins are waiting for me. I don't necessarily know where our souls go when we die, but I do believe they are out there somewhere. I believe we can communicate with them if we want to. We can call on them for help and advice.

I've had quite a few experiences with spirits in my lifetime. Last night was no different. I had a dream about my dad.

I was in a car with my father (who passed away in 2007). He was driving and I was sitting behind him. He was trying to show me the cottage he has been living in since he left my mother (his words). He was pointing to the cottage but I couldn't see it. I reached my hand out and he held it for awhile.

Then I woke up.

It was such a peaceful, calm and comforting dream. I really do believe my father came to me to let me know he's ok. I believe he tried to show me how lovely his world is even though I couldn't see it with my own eyes. I don't think it was a message of "This is heaven. Be good and you can come here too!" I think it was just my dad popping in to say hello and tell me he's ok.

Now maybe I'm just as crazy as the Mormons who believe that God speaks to them personally. But having these dreams/experiences gives me peace and can restore hope when I need it the most. It's like my own personal magic 8 ball. Maybe it's just my brain trying to keep me sane in an otherwise insane world. Maybe it IS all just a dream. Who knows? All I know is that being able to see my dad again and hold his hand is one of the greatest feelings in the world.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

This pisses me off

So there is this whole Pepsi Refresh Project going on right now. People can nominate projects to receive up to $250K in funding. Every day you vote and on November 1st the winners are announced. Overall, a pretty cool idea. And most of the suggestions are excellent. Like providing assistance to the disabled (rides to medical appointments, fan or air conditioners for their homes), or purchasing clothing and blankets for the homeless. Creating braille books for blind children. Helping people and communities that REALLY need help.

And then there is the ever present Crazy Facebook Lady. The same woman who is paying thousands in tuition to send her child to the "good" school in town. The "good" school where median household income is much higher than the household incomes of the school my kid attends. [side note: I do believe that a child will do well in school if they WANT to do well, and if the teachers are good. You don't need to pay $5,000 every year to learn alphabet at a fancy school when you can learn the same alphabet at any other school.] So what's my beef? The fact that I have gotten no less than 3 email pleas and at least 10 Facebook pleas to vote for a new library for the school her kid goes to. Wait, let me repeat that. She wants everyone she knows to vote for a $250,000 grant to build her child's school a new library. Not to buy braille books for blind children or provide school supplies to needy children, or support kids with disabilities. But to provide a new library to a school that doesn't need a new library.

Say it with me folks. What. The. Fuck?

And really, if I don't attend your school, why on earth would I vote for your school to receive money? If any school should get money wouldn't I want it to be the one that I send my child to? Stop trying to take money away from other people that REALLY need it. You go around boasting how you spend $500 on new school clothes for your 6 year old. How you spend $200 to take her to a special birthday dinner. Why don't you take some of that money and give it to the school for a new library? Why don't you ask all of your fellow school parents to do the same? Oh wait, that's right, because that school is entitled and feels like they should be given everything on a silver fucking platter because of where they live. Well whoop-de-fucking do.

These people disgust me. With all the things going on in this country right now and all the people that really need help and you're begging for a new and improved library. Unbelievable.

Friday, October 1, 2010

It's up to you

New York, Neeeeeeew Yooooooooork.......

New York has been on my mind.  I grew up in the Empire State and will always consider it home.  There is just something badass about being a NY native.  Something you can't describe, and that no one else can understand.  I get an overwhelming feeling of peace as the plane starts to circle the city for landing.

The Top Gay and I try to visit once a year but it never seems like quite enough.  The last time we went we stayed an extra day and crammed in 4 Broadway shows, dinner, museums and general soaking up of the city activities.  I just feel like I need to be there again.  Now.

I've been dying to take the kid along too.  I can't wait to show her around and see the awe in her eyes.  It was such a great experience roaming around the city as a kid.  My parents took us often and I'm so grateful for that.  Even if my mother always screeched "Take off your jewelry and lock your doors!"  As if some mad man was just waiting on us to exit the Midtown Tunnel.  For a woman that grew just outside the city and went to college IN the city, you'd think she'd be more relaxed.  But I guess when you're born high strung you don't ever lose that sense about you.

Anyway, I must find a date to go.  There are endless new restaurants waiting for us to dine.  Countless shows waiting for us to drop our jaws in overwhelmed delight.  I need to get nauseous in a taxi as the driver slams on the gas and brake with equal abandon.  I want to be jostled on the street and have a "Fuck you!" yelled at me for no reason.  I want to go home.

Monday, September 20, 2010

The Flu

So I started writing this whole post about my weekend and wondered if anyone really gives a rat's ass about what I did with my weekend (apple picking, puking, and urgent care - in that order). Then I wondered what else I could write about. Then work handed the post to me on a silver platter.

As you may recall, I work in a medical office. All clinical staff are strongly urged to get the flu shot. I don't think our new hospital group requires it but our old group did. As always, I declined the shot. I have to fill out and sign a declination form and state my reasons. I don't want the shot. Why do I have to explain my reasons?

But some of the reasons are amusing. Scared of needles. Afraid you will get the flu. Have never taken the flu shot. I just checked "Other" and stated that I don't believe in the effectiveness of the shot. And I really don't. The flu shot is only effective if they get the correct strains in the shot. Even then it's only 70-90% effective. Not 100%. So you are just taking a chance that they'll have it right this year and you'll be protected. But chances are they won't have it right and you'll still get some strain of the flu. And even if they DO have it right, you still have a 10-30% chance of getting the flu. What's the point?

I found an article on Slate by Robert Bazelle urging us all to get our flu shots. Per the article, "According to the federal Centers for Disease Control, the virus kills on average 36,000 Americans annually, a terrible toll—almost as many as die from auto accidents." 36,000 people killed annually. Yes, that is a lot, but in a nation of 310,216,319 people, that's a very small portion of the population. And most of those people that did die had some sort of underlying condition. Normal, healthy people aren't just keeling over from the flu. The CDC even says that you are still more likely to die in a auto accident than from the flu. Perhaps they can come up with a shot to vaccinate against idiots on the road instead.

I read some other comments where people feel it should be mandatory for health care workers to get the shot. "You could be walking around infected with the flu and dealing with patients before your symptoms appear!" Um, ok, did we not just discuss how the flu shot is not 100%? So if people get the shot they are to assume they are free and clear and not continue to use the basic precautions to prevent the transmission of germs? What's the difference?

Now of course my stance is based on the fact that I am a fairly healthy 36 year old. If you're elderly or have some sort of chronic or severe illness, then yes, maybe the flu shot is a good idea. But again, it's not a fail-safe. My father had the flu shot and the pneumonia shot (he had a severe chronic illness) yet he STLL got pneumonia and died. Maybe I should mark that as my reason for declining the vaccine?

Thursday, September 16, 2010


I thought I would list out 10 things that I love and 10 things that I hate.  Why not?

Things I love:

1.  Fall - it's almost fall and I love the cool air and the changing leaves.  Just beautiful
2.  Vacation/Travel - As my dad always told me "If you don't get away at least one a year, you're gonna go crazy."  How right he was!
3.  Sweets - I LOVE cake especially, but cookies, or any sweet treat will do.  I must have at least one sweet thing a day.
4.  Reading - Reading is just such a great escape for me.  I love to get lost in a book.
5.  Water - More specifically, the ocean.  I'm actually terrified of swimming in the ocean (I always think I'll be swept away by the current), but I love just sitting on a boat or in a cafe by the beach just staring out at the water.  It really makes you feel like you're at the end of the world.
6.  The Top Gay - What can I say?  He's listened to me laugh, cry and everything in between.  He doesn't judge me (to my face at least) and he always puts me in a good mood.  He stands by me and defends me and is just all around a wonderful guy.
7.  The Kid - She makes me laugh out loud every day.  She dramatic and smart and charming and fun.  I'm a lucky girl.
8.  The Husband - I guess I should put him in here too?  :-)
9.  Photography - I like to dream that some day I will know enough to do this as a profession, but in the meantime, I'll just keep striving to take the perfect photo.
10.  The stars - I have always loved to stare up at the night sky and think about how far away the stars are and how little we are in the grand scheme of things.  A dark night full of stars is the perfect ending to any day.

Things I hate:

1.  Flip flops - these are not shoes people.  If you're using a public shower or going to the beach, fine.  Otherwise, WEAR SHOES!
2.  Mayo - I'm gagging just typing that word.
3.  Feet - this should go along with the whole flip flop issue.  Feet are nasty and I don't want to see your mangled, dirty toes.  Disgusting.
4.  Stupid People - to clarify, I'm not talking about people with learning disabilities, but rather people that don't use common sense.  People that waste your time because they are worried about which air freshener to buy, or people that try to spread hatred through their own fears.
5.  Screaming kids - I never allowed the kid to scream.  Even when she talks loudly now, I tell her to tone it down. 
6.  Not having my Dad anymore - he passed away 3 years ago.
7.  Never feeling satisfied with myself - I could always lose a few more pounds, or run more, or read more, or, or, or......
8.  Roller coasters - they make me puke.  End of story.
9.  Winter - especially bitterly cold, blizzard-like winters.
10.  Religion - it's just brainwashing at it's best.