Friday, February 12, 2010

Who's crazy?

Who's crazy to live their whole life

Believing that somehow things aren't as bizarre as they are?

Remembering when I was 20 and brilliant and bold

Those are song lyrics from a fabulous Broadway show called Next to Normal. I recently saw the show with the Top Gay and am obsessed with the soundtrack. While there are a lot of ways that the songs from the show ring true for me, I've been thinking about how appropriate they are for the last few weeks at work.

Example:

The Martyr: "What language do they speak in Spain?"
Me: "uh, Spanish?"
The Martyr: "Oh, ok. I was sure if they spoke, like French-Spanish or something."

Really? I have seriously started looking around to see if I'm on candid camera. There has GOT to be someone waiting to jump out and tell me I've been punk'd.

But all of this wackiness has led me to think about my life a bit. I never, as a child, thought "When I grow up, I want to live in a small mid-western town and do administrative work in a medical office. THAT'S my dream job!" Actually, I can vividly remember being in 3rd grade and being asked to draw a picture of what I wanted to be when I grew up. My answer? An air traffic controller. Seriously. I thought that sounded so important and cool. And all the other kids were saying they wanted to be doctors, firemen, police officers. Even at age 8 I knew that I didn't want to do what other people were doing. When I look back I think it's pretty damn awesome that I thought that way at that age.

When I look at my life now and I think, how the hell did I end up here? I mean, I KNOW how I ended up here, but it's amazing how your dreams get pushed aside for life in general. I don't have a miserable life by any means. I have a decent, steady job (which in this economy is a plus), a nice home, a great family, food in the cabinets and clothes on my back. Right now that's a lot more than many people have and I get that. But I just think there is something fundamentally wrong that we get so caught up in "stuff" rather than living our lives and doing what makes us happy. Yes, I could go all Oprah on you and say "give it all up and live your dream!" but how realistic is that? My husband is a struggling entrepreneur and I have a kid in school. Right now I'm the breadwinner and benefits provider. I can't just give it all up to find myself. Well, I guess I can, but I'm not THAT selfish (and that's saying a lot).

So who's crazy? Well I know the people I work with are batshit crazy which in turn makes ME crazy. But am I crazy for "giving up" my life for my family? Am I crazy for settling with what I've got? I guess only time will tell.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Reviving this blog!

It looks like I need to give this blog some CPR. I was cruising along just fine until the holidays came. Then the kid had birthday and work got busy, and this blog started a slow painful death. But I'm going to try to revive it! Especially since I'm back to hating my job and the weather and life in general. It's like the midwest is jealous of DC and WANTS a snowpocalypse of it's own. According to the weather we should have had 6 inches on the ground on Friday night and another 9 inches by the end of today. Sadly, we only had 2 inches on Friday and maybe another 2 today. *sigh* If it's gonna snow I would at least like to get pounded so I can get a day off of work. Not just 2 inches that they won't plow causing a pain in the ass drive in to work and nothing more. A monkey could do a better job of predicting the weather.

So how 'bout those Saints, huh? I never thought that would happen. Thought the Colts had that Lombardi trophy in their hands before they ever left Indy. Pfft. How wrong I was! I admit that it's pretty cool that they won. A team that has never even been to a Super Bowl won the big game. That's cool. What I don't get is the whole "Who Dat" thing. Because you support the Saints you now have to sound like a complete idiot? I also don't get why people go out and get trashed after their team wins. I understand that you may feel vindicated after years of supporting a losing team, but why get shitfaced? Why fire off guns on Bourbon Street? That makes no sense to me. I have a friend that called in to work yesterday because she was still drunk. An event that has no real impact on your life causes you to get so wasted that you can't even make it to work the next day? Now don't get me wrong, in my younger days I did call in to work hungover, but that was just my own stupidity, not because a professional sports team just won a major event.

And then there are the "missionaries" in Haiti that kidnapped children after the earthquake. They SWEAR they were told their papers were in order. Really? I know the government is in shambles but you can't just assume that taking kids to "give them a better life" is ok. I really hate they fall back on the whole idea that they are good Christian people and were only trying to do what is best for the kids. Uh, no, you're not. If you were, you wouldn't be taking kids away from their families. Especially during such a traumatic time. Yes, people are poor in Haiti but they were poor before any of this happened. They didn't have clean water for YEARS and now we are flying it in by the plane load because there was an earthquake. We are throwing money at a country that doesn't even know what it's like to have 2 nickels to rub together. Get a grip people! Use your heads and your hands and do something that can actually benefit these people. Like building them houses and clearing away rubble. Providing first aid to the injured and help bury the dead. No one wants to be saved by Jesus right now. They want food in their stomachs and a roof over their heads. Not to have their children taken away from them.

So how's that for a welcome back bitchfest?

Monday, February 1, 2010

Oprah and the Duggars

Ok, I know this seems like an unlikely pairing but they have both annoyed me recently so I thought I would lump them together in one post.

Last night I was flipping around since my DVR was empty and the Grammy's were boring me to death, and I came across a special episode of the reality show about the Duggars. I, like the sick person I am, got sucked in. I watched as a tearful family recounted Michelle's struggles with her pregnancy. First they thought it was a gallstone, but the wonderful doctors in Arkansas managed to solve the problem without surgery. Then Michelle's blood pressure skyrocketed so the docs decided they had to deliver the baby. Michelle went on about how she knew she was putting the baby's life in danger as well as hers. Jim Bob choked back tears as he talked to the film crew. It was right around this time that I fell asleep. But I didn't end my viewing without being pissed off.

First of all, who needs 19 fucking kids? As it is, the woman is lucky enough that she birthed that many children without one of them having an issue. I cannot believe her uterus isn't dragging along the ground between her legs. Seriously. Yes, I know they are self sufficient and don't rely on government handouts, but they also have a reality television show that allows them to afford to live in a ginormous house and spend over $1K on groceries every month. Yes, they "buy used and save the difference" but there is only so far that can take you when your covering the costs of a family of 21. I'm sorry but managing rental property isn't going to feed your 19 kids. Nor is it going to buy you all those apple computers you use. Or the 5 cars that sit in your driveway. Or the gas it takes to drive all around in that RV or the family bus.

I get that they believe this is God's plan for them. But I highly doubt God expected or wanted these two to fuck like rabbits. I thought sex (in Christian eyes) was for procreation and not enjoyment? Seems to me like Jim Bob and Michelle are having a little too much fun in the bedroom. Why can't Jim Bob just keep it in his pants? What is he trying to prove? That he's more manly than his retarded name?

And now for Oprah.

If I have to see one more commercial about her "NoPhoneZone" plan I'm going to scream. I get that using the phone while driving is dangerous. Yes, I've done it and nearly had an accident. Yes, I freak out when my husband is driving and sending emails at the same time. Logically, I know it's not the safest option, but to hear from someone who doesn't even drive her own fucking car, and just recently got herself a Blackberry, is a little annoying to say the least. Why don't you get on your little private plane with your personal chef and personal trainer and personal assistant and jet off to your vacation home in Hawaii and leave the rest of us to text and drive in peace. [side note: a recent study shows that laws forbidding texting or using a handheld device while driving has NOT reduced traffic accidents]

Then last week she had her EXCLUSIVE interview with Jay Leno. First of all, I think Jay made himself look even worse during that interview. He should include better PR people in his new deal with NBC. Secondly, Oprah needs to stick her suburban mom topics. She is not a hard hitting reporter. If asking Jay the same fucking questions over and over for an hour constitutes earning millions of dollars a year, then I want to know how I get that job. In fact, my 5 year old does that job. For free! Oprah did the same thing when she interviewed the Obamas back in December. Softball questions over and over and wouldn't even let the people finish a sentence before she cut them off. Yes, we get that you're the alpha dog, Oprah, but at least let people finish a thought!

I always have a chuckle when she talks about finding out who she is after the show ends. Well, I think we all know who she is. A rich woman with assistants and drivers, and chefs and servants. A woman that can't relate to the every day person except that she struggles with her weight and then blames it on a thyroid condition.