Oprah and the Duggars

Ok, I know this seems like an unlikely pairing but they have both annoyed me recently so I thought I would lump them together in one post.

Last night I was flipping around since my DVR was empty and the Grammy's were boring me to death, and I came across a special episode of the reality show about the Duggars. I, like the sick person I am, got sucked in. I watched as a tearful family recounted Michelle's struggles with her pregnancy. First they thought it was a gallstone, but the wonderful doctors in Arkansas managed to solve the problem without surgery. Then Michelle's blood pressure skyrocketed so the docs decided they had to deliver the baby. Michelle went on about how she knew she was putting the baby's life in danger as well as hers. Jim Bob choked back tears as he talked to the film crew. It was right around this time that I fell asleep. But I didn't end my viewing without being pissed off.

First of all, who needs 19 fucking kids? As it is, the woman is lucky enough that she birthed that many children without one of them having an issue. I cannot believe her uterus isn't dragging along the ground between her legs. Seriously. Yes, I know they are self sufficient and don't rely on government handouts, but they also have a reality television show that allows them to afford to live in a ginormous house and spend over $1K on groceries every month. Yes, they "buy used and save the difference" but there is only so far that can take you when your covering the costs of a family of 21. I'm sorry but managing rental property isn't going to feed your 19 kids. Nor is it going to buy you all those apple computers you use. Or the 5 cars that sit in your driveway. Or the gas it takes to drive all around in that RV or the family bus.

I get that they believe this is God's plan for them. But I highly doubt God expected or wanted these two to fuck like rabbits. I thought sex (in Christian eyes) was for procreation and not enjoyment? Seems to me like Jim Bob and Michelle are having a little too much fun in the bedroom. Why can't Jim Bob just keep it in his pants? What is he trying to prove? That he's more manly than his retarded name?

And now for Oprah.

If I have to see one more commercial about her "NoPhoneZone" plan I'm going to scream. I get that using the phone while driving is dangerous. Yes, I've done it and nearly had an accident. Yes, I freak out when my husband is driving and sending emails at the same time. Logically, I know it's not the safest option, but to hear from someone who doesn't even drive her own fucking car, and just recently got herself a Blackberry, is a little annoying to say the least. Why don't you get on your little private plane with your personal chef and personal trainer and personal assistant and jet off to your vacation home in Hawaii and leave the rest of us to text and drive in peace. [side note: a recent study shows that laws forbidding texting or using a handheld device while driving has NOT reduced traffic accidents]

Then last week she had her EXCLUSIVE interview with Jay Leno. First of all, I think Jay made himself look even worse during that interview. He should include better PR people in his new deal with NBC. Secondly, Oprah needs to stick her suburban mom topics. She is not a hard hitting reporter. If asking Jay the same fucking questions over and over for an hour constitutes earning millions of dollars a year, then I want to know how I get that job. In fact, my 5 year old does that job. For free! Oprah did the same thing when she interviewed the Obamas back in December. Softball questions over and over and wouldn't even let the people finish a sentence before she cut them off. Yes, we get that you're the alpha dog, Oprah, but at least let people finish a thought!

I always have a chuckle when she talks about finding out who she is after the show ends. Well, I think we all know who she is. A rich woman with assistants and drivers, and chefs and servants. A woman that can't relate to the every day person except that she struggles with her weight and then blames it on a thyroid condition.