Stop the ride...I want to get off!!

At various points in our lives we all have that feeling of wanting the world to stop so we can have a minute to catch our breath and get back on our feet. Unfortunately, that never happens.

This past weekend I was in NYC with the Top Gay. It's a trip I had been looking forward to for some time. The trip itself was a blast. Good food, good shows, good friends. Just a nice, relaxing, adult weekend. I pulled in the garage of my house at 5:30pm last night. As soon as I did, the switch was flipped and I was immediately "mommy" again. No easing back into things, no recovery period. Just bam! You're it.

When I walked in, the husband was making dinner. Everything seemed fine. As I went into the bedroom to unpack, I heard cursing and the slamming of dishes. I came out to see what the issue was and he proclaimed "I'm at my wits end! It has been a long couple of days!" I told him to chill out, sit down and tell me what the hell was wrong. In the end, it was just the dog. She was annoying all weekend. And by annoying I mean getting up early (her usual), wanting attention and needing to be fed and let out. All things that *I* do. All things that the husband takes for granted. The kid was up early too. Big deal, right? Well, it is to someone who's biggest job is to get the kid on the bus at 8:30am. (side note: yes, I know I enable him, but that's another post)

After dinner the kid was all over me wanting to play games and talk. I had a blazing headache and was exhausted (which husband noted, but didn't do anything to make the evening easier for me). I just wanted to scream "Please stop the ride! I want to get off!" I just needed a few minutes to sit down. A few minutes to just put my stuff away. A few minutes of quiet.

When I finally did get to bed, I couldn't sleep. All the stress and worry that was pushed aside for the weekend came rushing back into my head. The floodgates were opened once again. I tried meditating. I took a benedryl. I read a book and screwed around on the computer. Finally at 12:30am, I passed out.

This morning I wasn't even out of bed yet and the kid was awake and complaining that I didn't get her water before she fell asleep last night. When I was in the shower she begged to take a shower too. When I told her no she stormed off and threw a fit. Then when I got out of the shower she was standing there naked saying she wanted to get in. I finally told her to just do whatever she wanted because I didn't have the energy to deal with it. Then she needed a bandaid. Then she couldn't find any clothes (they did all the laundry this weekend - hurrah! - but failed to fold it or put it away - boo!). Then she needed help getting breakfast.

And people wonder why I want to go away for a weekend?

There have been other times in my life when I've felt the same way. Most notably when the kid was born and when my father died. The reality is like a slap in the face. The world does not stop for you, or anyone. Life goes on. It's not easy, but it does. You just have to hold on for dear life....and maybe scream your head off a little bit.