Friday, March 26, 2010

Family History

I am addicted to ancestry.com.  ADDICTED.  That website is like crack.  And they know it too since they charge what I consider to be an assload of money just to access public information.  BUT all that public information is in one place and easily searchable, so......

Back in February a friend of mine sent me some info about a distant relative that was a sculptor in Italy.  There was all this information about the man and I was fascinated.  My friend told me that his father was cleaning out his office closet and found a folder full of family history that has been passed down.  He got excited about the possibility of discovering his family and signed up at ancestry.com.  Of course, within an hour I did the same.

It started out easy enough.  I emailed my mother and she gave me what she knew off of the top of her head.  For the first two weeks I was a madwoman.  I spent all day every day working on this family tree.  I was amazed at the information that popped up.  I kept digging and digging and would call my mother at 10pm in the middle of the week with questions.  When she answered the phone I wouldn't even say hello but rather just shout "Great grandma's last name was Butler, wasn't it?!"  Even she was amazed at what I was finding.

It's been almost 2 months since I started on this journey.  I've now created a tree for my husband's family as well.  I granted him access to the tree and then got pissed off that he would log in and mess with it (in case you forgot, I have control issues).  I tried to remind myself that it was HIS tree anyway so he could do what he wanted with it.  But then i would tell him over dinner about how what he had added to the tree was stupid.  Come on, you should not be surprised at my bitchiness by this point.  Anyway, both trees have people going back almost to the 900's which is freakin' amazing.  Ancestry.com keeps giving me information so I keep adding the people.  I feel like I have to follow and investigate EVERY SINGLE LEAD.  I mean, what if I am related to a King (which I am by the way)?  I need to know this!

I have gotten stuck on my dad's side.  I'm as far back as my great great grandparents and then the trail runs dry.  I know that my great grandfather was orphaned so finding out about his parents has been hard.  Then there is my great grandfather on my paternal gradmother's side.  Apparently he walked out on his family and remarried.  I've found bits and pieces but for some reason cannot find his parents or his first wife's parents.  I finally bit the bullet about 2 weeks ago and ordered his birth certificate online.  Up until this point I've been very hesitant about spending money on this gig.  I'm very much into the process but also don't want to spend a fortune just to find out who my relatives are.  In any case, every single day now I race to the mailbox to see if the birth certificate has arrived and it hasn't.  I want and need to order more documents but I want to see what I get with this first one before I go further along the same route.

I'm not as gung ho about the tree as I was a month and a half ago, but I'm still plugging along.  I've found that it's good to take a break and then revisit what I've done.  I start to see things that blew right past me in my flurry of activity.  And trust me, every little piece of information helps.  An initial, a date, a location.  It just narrows the search and helps to pinpoint the person you are looking for.  Overall it's been a great experience and really eye opening.  I find myself wondering about what life was like for Pepin the Short King of Franks and his wife Betrade Big Foot Laon.  Or what about Boleslav the Cruel Prince of Bohemia (what made him cruel?) and Sigurd Snake Eyes King of Danes?  I guess once I'm done getting people on the tree I'll have my work cut out for me in finding more of their actual history.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Health Care Part Deux

I am thrilled that the health care bill passed.  I'm overjoyed that Obama signed the bill into law today.  Three cheers (and then some) for reform!

Do I think the bill is perfect?  No.  Do I think it will solve all of our problems?  Of course not.  But it's a step in the right direction.  We cannot move forward unless we make changes.  Yes, change can be scary, but that's no reason to stand idle. 

I am still fired up by people that oppose this bill.  One person I know said that they were upset that now they have to "bust their ass so that lazy people that don't work can have health care."  Ok, first of all, that is so fucking ridiculous I cannot even believe I heard it.  Secondly, way to group a few bad apples into an entire population.  Are there people that are lazy and don't work?  Yes.  Is everyone that is unemployed lazy and not wanting to work?  No.  In case you forgot, we are still in a recession.  Unemployment is at an all time high.  The majority of these people WANT to work.  Some of them are even paying for insurance via COBRA.  On the flip side, there are quite a few people in this country that DO work yet still have no benefits.  My husband is one such person.  Without my job and benefits, he would have nothing.  He is self employed and is deemed uninsurable due to pre-exisiting medical conditions (ironically he is against reform as well).  I have other friends that work full time but are offered ZERO benefits from their employers.  So before you start spewing your hatred, you should take a look around.

Then we have the lovely folks who are pissed that the bill passed ("What about the Constitution?!") and are also pissed that Rep. Stupak made a deal on abortion language.  Ok, so you are against the government making decisions about your health care, yet you are FOR the government making decisions about your health care.  Yeah, that makes sense.  Don't tell me what I can or cannot do with my insurance but you damn well better tell everyone else what they can or cannot do with their bodies.  Right.

My main issue is this:  You have no right to complain about ANYTHING (health care or otherwise) unless you are willing to do something about it.  This reform bill was not a breaking news surprise.  We all knew it was coming.  Every single person in this country could have written their Senator or Rep.  They could have called the White House.  They could have protested.  But the majority of them didn't.  They sat at home in front of their televisions and yelled and screamed and the injustice of it all.  You have the power to make a change and didn't use it.  Don't complain that you don't like the results.  It's no one's fault but your own.

Finally, when did it become so horrible and wrong to actually help other people?  What is so terrible about lending a hand to those less fortunate then ourselves?  Why are people not even looking at those around them and seeing how they are affected by this?  One person I know lost a family member due to poor health care yet he is against reform.  Huh?  Why would you want other people to suffer the same way you did?  I have a friend with cancer who has to be careful how often she gets her treatments and therapy because her insurance only allows so much per year.  Why should she have to fight cancer this way?  We are one of the most powerful nations in the world yet we are ranked 37th in terms of health care for our people.  That is a disgrace.  Insurance companies have been far too greedy for far too long.  I understand that they are a for profit business and should be allowed to make money.  They should not, however, be allowed to make money off the backs of people that rely on them just to live.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

At least the new healthcare bill will pay for the therapy I'll need after listening to the BS about the healthcare bill

Oh. My. God. Please pass this fucking bill today so that I can finally have an end to this moronic bullshit. I have a friend on Facebook that I consider a second mother to me. Every day for the last 3 days it has been as though she is holding her own teabagger revolt via Facebook status updates. I want to post back and say "SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!" and then ask her if she's even READ the bill. But I know in true teabagger fashion, she'll just say that it's not HER job to read the bill. Yes, you can just bitch the days away without even knowing what the fuck you are talking about!

And what is with everyone saying "What about the Constitution?" What about it? It says in Article I that "The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States." Isn't that kinda what we are doing here?

And now there are protesters in DC hurling slurs at Members of Congress. Words such as nigger and faggot. Really? And you expect people to take you seriously? Look, if you want to protest, have at it. That's what makes his country great. Use the power of your voice. Call your Congressman and Senator. Write letters and Op-Eds. Start a petition. But using slurs is just disgusting and tasteless. And it brings down EVERYONE who stands on your side of the issue. This isn't about the color of someone's skin or their sexual orientation. It's about people being SCARED of change. It's about opposition believing anything they are told. Even by someone who has used the socialized medicine in Canada and writes notes on her hand.

These are the people that scare me:



I work in healthcare and I really wish these people could see the struggles that good people go through because private insurance deems them not worthy of treatment. I would like to see what these people would do if they ever lost their insurance or god forbid were struck down with a life threatening disease that most insurance carriers limit treatment for. There is the old saying "walk a miles in their shoes" before you go judging and making assumptions about people. But I guess that's not going to happen.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Forgiveness

I'm still on a movie watching kick.   This weekend I caught Forgiving Dr. Mengele which is a documentary about Auschwitz survivor Eva Kor.  Eva and her twin sister were unwillingly subjected to Dr. Mengele's research while imprisoned at Auschwitz.   This was a fascinating story.  A version of events that I had never heard before.  It is both sickening and inspiring.

Obviously, the premise of this story is forgiveness.  Eva is a remarkable woman and has found it within herself to forgive the Nazi's for what they did both to her and her family.  The catch is that not everyone agrees with Eva's position.  Many other Auschwitz survivors are furious at Eva's position.  One even said that she could never forgive and she would never be happy.  That just blew me away.  To me, she is letting the Nazi's continue to rule her life.  She's letting them win.  Let it go!

Eva describes forgiveness as letting that part of her life go.  She is healing her soul (how very Oprah-esque!).  I think this woman has got it right!  I think many people (including myself sometimes) view forgiveness as a way of excusing the offensive behavior.  What Eva is saying is not that she excuses the behavior, but rather that she refuses to let those incidents have control over her life.  Forgiveness sets her free from those chains and allows her to live.  Will she ever forget the Holocaust?  Of course not.  Will she ever feel that what happened was in any way OK?  Absolutely not.  But kudos to this badass woman for saying hey, you imprisoned me once, you will not imprison me again! 

I think everyone should see this movie.  It's a great story of strength, determination and of course, forgiveness.  It's also a great reminder that many of the things in our lives are pretty trivial compared to the bigger picture.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Random Thoughts

I threw out my back on Sunday night while loading the dishwasher.  Yes, really.  I did.  And I am NOT that old.  I swear!  Anyway, I've been hobbling around all week.  I stopped by the chiropractor on Tuesday and he fixed me up a little.  Problem is, this guy is rough.  He admits he's rough but that's how he adjusts people.  So not only did he get my hips and back re-aligned, he made me pretty damn sore on top of it.

Ok, forget it.  I'm just stopping here.  There is no way I can continue to write this post about my ailing back without sounding like I'm writing porn. 

Since I've been lazing around all week due to my condition, I am completely caught up on Tivo.  Shocking, no?  And since I haven't been running this week, I am amazed at how much time I seem to have on my hands.  So last night after the kid went to bed I went to Netflix streaming to see what was available.  I went to the Oscar category and picked the Foreign Language Film winner from 2009.  It's a movie called Departures and I must say it's quite interesting.  I am laughing though because the whole time I'm watching it I'm thinking "The Top Gay will NEVER watch this movie!"  Basically it's about a man who loses his job and returns home only to take a new job helping to prepare dead bodies for burial.  The Top Gay has serious issues with dead bodies.  And this film will NOT go over well with him.  Anyway, about half way through the flick I got exhausted (watching movies while laying around all week is HARD) so I went to bed.  Will finish up tonight and let you know.

Speaking of the Top Gay, he is the winner of the "Things Taken Out Of Context" line today.  I hereby give you his words of wisdom:

"In the waiting room waiting for the vampire to inject the tumors."

HA!  Classic.

And my final random thought for today, why the hell is everyone leaving for vacation EXCEPT FOR ME?!  Ugh.  This is, like, one of my biggest issues in life.  I am EXTREMELY jealous when people go on vacation and I'm stuck at home with nothing on the horizon.  It blows.  The Top Gay is cheating on me and jetting off to St. Maarten with a lesbian.  My mother is off to India (for fun).  H is off to the Caribbean next week.  My boss is off to some beachy spot this weekend followed by my other boss who departs next week.  Suckage all around.  I guess I will go home and finish my movie and be grateful that I'm not washing and putting makeup on dead bodies for a living.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I have control issues

I have control issues.  I know this and try to work with it, but sometimes, I can't.  I need to be in control of my life, my body, my surroundings....everything!  I will never be a drug addict or an alcoholic because I need to know that I am in control of myself.  I don't like taking prescription medications because I do not like knowing exactly what will happen to me when I ingest them.  Things are suppose to work a certain way and when they don't, I panic.  I even get freaked out when I'm driving somewhere and get lost.  Seriously.  I am that bad.  So when my darling husband made appointments for our cars this week, I freaked out.  Yes, I have no where else I need to be during the day except in this office, but I am freaking out over the fact that my car is not in the parking lot and I cannot just up and leave whenever I want.  As if I was even allowed to dart off at the drop of a hat to do anything during the work day.  What if I suddenly NEED flowers for my office?  What if I'm crippled by a migraine and have no medicine?  I am just stuck here.  Trapped.  Please pass the paper bag.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Triple toe loooooop...

Last night I sat around the house staring blankly into space.  Why you ask?  Because I was at a loss for what to do now that the Olympics are over.  I love the Olympics.  I'm definitely more of a summer games kind of girl, but I'll put up with the winter games as a way to pass the time until my true love comes back in 2 more years.

The 2010 games just seemed odd to me.  They started out with the Georgian luger dying before we even got started.  It was AFTER he crashed at 90mph into a steel pole that they decided "Hey, maybe we should cover these beams of death."  But beyond that, there just seemed to be a lot of wonky things.  Like the weather.  So if you were first on the ski jump, you did well.  If you were in the middle of the pack, the wind picked up and you maybe reached half the distance of the previous person.  On downhill competitions, the snow would be great at the top of the hill but mush at the bottom.  The Sliding Center battled keeping the ice hard enough for all the sleds.  I know that the Olympic folks can't control the weather but damn, it just seemed so sloppy.  Shouldn't we have winter games in places where it's guaranteed to be freezing cold all winter long?  Like, say, Siberia?

And then there were the competitors themselves.  A lot of them wow'ed us as predicted.  Apolo Ohno, Kim Yu-Na, Shaun White, etc.  But was it just me or was there some sort of fuck up or accident every single time you turned on the tv?  I don't know how many bobsled crashes I witnessed.  Including one by a German team where the brake person was ejected only to have the sled flip over and have the pilot slide down the track on his head with a sled on top of him.  How many figure skaters fell during their jumps?  Or mogul racers who crashed?  I'm not sure if the competitors were pushing themselves harder, whether they were ill prepared, or perhaps it was the conditions.  Who knows, but it seemed like a very amateur version of the games.

What are some things that I will not miss about the Olympics this year?  For one, the cowbells.  What the fuck is with the cowbells?  Do they hand them out to people as they enter the event?  Where does one even find a cowbell to purchase?  And why on God's green earth do you need to scream and shake a cowbell when a skier, bobsledder or luger comes flying by?  Is cheering not enough anymore?

I will not miss NBC's coverage or commentating.  I will not miss Mary Carillo (lesbian!) and her stories about Canada.  I'm here to watch top athletes perform, not to learn about Canadian logging.  It's bad enough that the premier events were on at 11pm EST or later.  I don't need my evening eaten up by the promise of events after the break only to have to listen to some story about polar bears. 

Kim Yu-Na DID skate a beautiful performance, but really, is saying "The coronation is complete!  The queen has arrived!" really necessary, Tom Hammond?  Can you please hold back your emotions when speaking about a performance?  It's fucking figure skating.  Not your child pooping on the potty for the first time.

So while it may seem like I DIDN'T enjoy the Olympics, I really did.  I always enjoy watching people at the top of their game.  I enjoy rooting for the US to kick Russia's ass.  What I don't enjoy is the endless blather by commentators or the shitty programming schedule.  Hopefully NBC will bring their A game to London in 2012.

Monday, March 1, 2010

I think I need a Facebook break

I'm not sure if it's a rite of passage, the full moon, or just me, but I really think I need a break from Facebook. 

Over the last few days I've been driven to near rage just reading the idiotic comments people have posted.  For example, in (slightly) upstate NY (where I grew up) they received about 2 feet of snow.  The posts started showing up about how power was out and people were huddled around candles.  No one really complained much.  Then, of course, the whiners begin to chime in.  One in particular issues a plea for help as her generator was running out of gas and her husband wouldn't be home for 2 more days.  Yes, her GENERATOR.  Are you fucking kidding me?  The majority of people in this world don't OWN a generator and you're bitching because you're about to run out of gas?  Who do you want to save you?  The people that are already freezing their asses off?  "I need a plow or someone to bring me gas!"  Oh I'm sorry Your Highness, I'll get right on that.

30 hours later this person posted again.  "30 hours with no power = no water = dirty kids."  Her kids are elementary school aged.  They participate in dance competitions.  They are not the kind of kids that are rolling around in the mud (if there even was any mud to be had).  What exactly are they doing that they are so horrifically dirty?  Get a grip.

Another friend in Texas was freaking out about the dusting of snow they received.  I know Texas doesn't get snow regularly, but to post a photo on FB of the snow on the grass and the dry sidewalks and streets and then say "I don't understand WHY they haven't closed school!" is a little ridiculous.

Then there were the people frantically worried about some long lost friend in Hawaii.  "If you read this, please let us know you're ok!"  If you were really a good friend, you would pick up the phone and CALL this person rather than giving a shout out on Facebook.  I think this person might be busy moving to higher ground and not worried about contacting people she clearly hasn't spoken to since college.

I also don't like being solicited for charity donations via FB.  I appreciate that you are trying to raise money for cancer research but please don't send me 10 messages and post on my wall how you REALLY need my money.  If I have the money and want to donate, I will.  If I can't donate, or only want to donate to my local charity, I will.  Asking me 10,000 times is not going to get me to give you my cash.  It will only make me NOT donate out of spite.

I appreciate Facebook and it's ability to let me reconnect with people I haven't seen or spoken to in a long time.  It's nice to get a quick peek into their lives.  However, this does not mean that I need or want to know when you wiped your ass or how you think Downs Syndrome is a not a disease and 99% of people won't repost this.  Maybe it IS me.  Or maybe I just need to find better "friends".