Driving

I tend to drive like a maniac.  I know this.  It's like I'm in a race against myself every time I get behind the wheel.  I have to see how fast I can get to my destination even if I'm not in a hurry.  And when I'm in a hurry, it's a thousand times worse.

This morning I putzed around way too long in deciding what to wear to work.  All of a sudden I realize it's almost ten after eight and I have to be at work at 8:30.  It takes me 25 minutes to drive there.  So I run out the door and start my Mario Andretti drive to work.  First I get stuck behind a mini van.  What IS it with mini vans?  It's like as soon as someone purchases one, their driving skills automatically decrease by half.  Why must they stop half a mile behind the car in front of them?  I understand keeping a safe distance, but that's a little ridiculous.  Then they also must drive 10 miles below the speed limit.  You know what I'm talking about.  When was the last time you saw a mini van speeding?  Anywhere?  They don't.

And what is with people that must come to a complete stop on a major road before the make a turn.  YOU CANNOT DO THIS!  The flow of traffic is still moving at a good pace.  You cannot stop in the middle of the road to make a turn.  Or to avoid a biker as was the case for me over the weekend.  We were literally doing 75 on the highway and the guy in front of me literally came TO A STOP on the highway because there was a biker on the side of the road.  First of all, WHY IS THERE A BIKER ON THE HIGHWAY?!  Like man on a bicycle.  Not a motorcycle, a BICYCLE.  Secondly, I don't care how fast or slow you are driving, you cannot stop in the middle of a highway because there is someone on the side of the road.  Pull over into the other lane or pull off the highway to assist the person, but for god's sake, do not stop!

I spent a good chunk of my life in DC and I rode the metro quite a bit.  The rule on the escalators was "stand right, walk left."  People would literally just shout those four words as they were coming up the escalator.  The same rule needs to apply to driving.  If you're going to take a leisurely drive, stay in the right hand lane.  If you're going the speed limit or under, you belong in the right lane.  Which means you have no right to give me dirty looks in your rear view mirror when I ride your ass in the left lane (I'm looking at you gray Prius).

Look, I know I need to calm down or leave earlier or SOMETHING, but until that happens, everyone better get out of my way.