Memememememememe

Ok, so I'm the first to admit that I'm selfish. I am. I know it and embrace it. When people ask why I only have one kid, I tell him "because I am selfish." I like having my own time. I like spending money on ME and not daycare and roller skating birthday parties. I love to travel to far off places. I like living my life for me and not for other people (although I still do a lot of that). So why am I ready to rip the heads off of the selfish people at work? Well, here's the story.

So word goes out that the boss is turning 40 and everyone goes into a tizzy. People start bitching that we aren't doing anything for him. Fine, so we decide to do lunch and cake. Of course now no one will take the responsibility to order the food. So like a fool, I volunteer. Since this group is opinionated, I just picked a lunch place and ordered sandwiches, sides and drinks. Done. Total is $9 per person. Nothing crazy right? I mean, you can't even go out and buy lunch around here for less than that unless you go to McDonald's. And even then you make up the difference in Pepcid. So I send out the email asking people for the money. Afterall, I fronted the cost of this meal on my own personal credit card. Right now, I'M buying lunch for these selfish bastards.

At first a few dollars trickle in. Then I get the first phone call. A 45 year old woman giggling while telling me she doesn't have the money. "I can decorate if you want." Um, ok, but you putting up decorations doesn't pay my Visa. I'm not in management so I'm not sure how far I can push back and get nasty with these people about paying. So I just kind of sit silently on the phone while she giggles nervously about paying. Then she tells me "Well, I thought we weren't doing anything since we are going to that party for him?" "That party" is a surprise party that HIS WIFE is throwing for him. A party with a full buffet of prime rib, salmon and chicken and whatever else, a DJ, the works. A party that is FREE for us. So I inform her of all of this and say it would be pretty shitty of us to not even acknowledge his birthday at the office regardless of whether or not his wife is doing something.

Dead silence.

Then I get an email. Another woman is claiming she can't afford the $9. Ok, so I know times are tight and we are all scrimping where we can, but it's $9. $9 for the man that signs your paycheck and gives you a bonus twice a year. The man that is allowing you to work 10+ hours of overtime PER PAY PERIOD! I know you have the money. COUGH IT UP!

Fast forward to Friday of the same week. The Giggler sends out an office wide email (we're a small group) asking who wants to order lunch. Get that? ORDER LUNCH! The same kind of lunch that no one has money to pay for when it means celebrating their boss. So I sit quietly and seethe about it. Then I forward the message to management and bitch to them about how selfish people are.

Later that day The Other Cheapo overhears a conversation I'm having about how I got a new FREE iPhone (thanks tech geek friend R!). TOC goes on and on about how she and her husband have iPhones and they can't live without them, blah, blah, blah. Um, iPhones aren't cheap. especially depending on which model you have and when you purchased them. So essentially you're saying you can afford 2 iPhones and the calling plans that go with them, but you can't cough up $9 for lunch for your boss. Okaaaaaay.

It's easy to judge (and judge I do) from a distance, but really, I know they have the money. I know they got paid overtime. And a lot of it. That's extra money right there. Money that you don't normally get. And it's a helluva lot more than $9.

So today I had to send out a reminder email about the lunch and asking the people that haven't paid, to now pay. Lunch is coming tomorrow and the dough is getting charged to my credit card. Now I'm getting the third degree from people who haven't paid about what we are ordering. As if they will decide to participate or not based on what we are having.

Random Selfih Bastard: "So what is for lunch tomorrow?"

Me: "Sandwiches, chips, potato salad and iced tea."

RSB: "From where?"

Me: "Does it even matter?"

RSB: no response

I plan on standing guard at the kitchen with my list of people that paid. Everyone else can kiss my ass.