Best Story Ever!

A friend shared this story with me this morning. Truly one of the best stories ever. People, do not mess with the gays. You will never win.


OK, last night was our resident party. We go off property (easier on us) rather than having a shindig in our building. One of my fave little joints in midtown. All my favorite resident gays. Good times. So my two favorite resident gays invite C and I to the after party at a bar down the street. We consider it but then think we should get home and relieve the babysitter. This is what we missed:

RG (resident gay) Brad is tipsy. RG Scott wants to go meet his new crush, RG Rocker (don't know his real name - he plays guitar, that's what they call him) but wants to be casual about it so he asks RG Brad to come along. Brad wants a sammich. They stop and get one at a bbq joint and keep walking. RG Scott and RG Rocker meet up and start making out, annoying RG Brad who steps over to his car (to sit and eat his sammich). Suddenly, a black mercedes pulls up, a 5 foot tall little chica hops out, waves a gun at Scott and Rocker and demands money.

RG Scott, annoyed that his smooch was interrupted, says "Bitch get outta here with that little cap gun and piss off." She fires the gun at the sidewalk. RG Brad turns around, dazed, wondering who the hell is throwing firecrackers. Chick jumps back in her car and speeds off. Scott yells to Brad to call 911 because "that stupid little bitch just tried to rob me!" They all take off on foot after her and see her stuck in traffic up ahead. Cops just happened to be about a block away, the RGs flag them down and yell that the bitch in the mercedes just held them up. Cops pursue her, catch her, and ask RG Scott for a description.

He says "she was 5'2, probably 125 lbs, bown hair past her shoulder, wearing a white tshirt, seven for mankind jeans, and brown leather shoes." Cop is stunned, leads him to the cop car where pissed off, glass kicking chick is now handcuffed, and damn if he wasn't spot on with every tiny detail. Lesson learned, kids: Don't rob a gay man in midtown because he WILL be able to describe you right down to whether or not you have VPL.

Turns out, she had just tried to rob another dude a few blocks away and he also laughed her off. It was not a cap gun, it was a real gun. She denied firing it and RG Scott said "oh, if that trashy little bitch wants to question my memory, I will take you to the exact spot on the sidewalk". At that point, she admitted it but said she wasn't shooting AT him, just at the sidewalk and kicked the window again and said "stop wasting my time and take me to fucking jail already", while my RGs stood inches from the squad car, taunting her and her outdated mercedes ("I recognized the car right away because my grandmother had the same one back in 1987" and "I'm NOT being snobby, I'm just saying!"). Snort.